You’re a triathlete when… part II
- Your legs move in a cycling motion while you are asleep.
- When you see a drop of blood, your first reaction is that you spilled some red Gatorade.
- You know how far you biked and ran last year, to one-tenth of a kilometer.
- You think the ultimate form of wallpaper is about 64 racing bibs.
- A 19-year old kid who works in a bicycle shop know more about you than your next-door neighbor.
- Your children are more likely to recognize you if you put your bicycle helmet.
- You have a vanity license plate with the work “Kona” in it. (or TRI WGON)
- About half the shirts you own have at least a dozen logos on the back of them.
- You don’t find the word “Fartlek” in the least bit amusing. (I still do)
- When you refer to your “partner”, you mean neither your spouse nor the co-owner of your business but the person you run or bike with three times a week.
- You shave your legs more often than your wife. (or you do it better.)
- The closest you came to punching somebody was when they disagreed with your position on whether wearing a wetsuit amounts to cheating.
- It doesn’t feel right that you can’t “clip ” in and out of the pedals in your car.
- There is a group of people in your life about whom you are more likely to know how fast they can swim 100 meters than their surnames or occupations.
- Some of the shorts you wear today are tighter than the ones you wore in high school.
- You are frustrated with the latest Garmin Forerunner because its live readings have a margin of error of approximately three per cent.
- There’s a separate load of laundry every week that is just your workout clothes. (They are washed more tenderly than your spouse’s past birthday presents)
- One of your goals this year is to be faster at getting out of your wetsuit. (or not to exceed your HR ceiling)
- You failed high school chemistry but you could teach a course on lactic acid.
- All you want for Christmas is something called a carbon crank set.
- You wore a digital watch to your wedding.
- You have to have completely separate meals from your spouse because he or she is on a low-carb diet.
- Your bicycle is in your living room.
- You have stocked up on a brand of cereal because it has a coupon that will save you money on your next two pairs of running shoes.
- In order to establish a new personal best, you considered peeing without getting off your bike. (or in fact did pee)
- One of your proudest moments is when you lost a toenail.
- When a car follows too closely behind you, you accuse the driver of “drafting”. (or you “draft” behind the car in front of you)
- When you went for a job interview, you wrote your social insurance number on your arm in black marker.
- Your spouse cried during Terms of Endearment; you cried during the television coverage of the Hawaii Ironman.
- You are comfortable discussing the sensitivity of your nipples with other guys.
- Your spouse is looking forward to the day when you will slow down and just run marathons.
- You have paused in front of the mirror in your wetsuit and thought, “Hey, I look like Spiderman. (or any other superhero)
- You see no issue with talking about treatments for chafing or saddle rash at the dinner table.
- You recently asked your spouse out for dinner by asking if he or she wanted to “fuel up” together.
- For you, “bonking” no longer has a sexual connotation.
- The magazine secretly tucked under your mattress has pictures of really expensive bicycles in it.
